How I shelter in place with grace

It’s been nearly three months since most of us were given strict orders to work from home, keep kids out of school or daycare and stop going to common places to eat, drink, hang, workout and shop (and the list goes on and on).

As most states are starting to ease up on the restrictions (hopefully very slowly), it’ll still be awhile before the world goes back to “normal” and we are able to move as freely as we did prior to COVID-19. Since it looks like the idea of sheltering in place isn’t totally going away for awhile (concerts and sporting events are not on the table for awhile….and Lord help us if there’s a second wave), I’ve been thinking of the things that have made this experience easier and sometimes, even enjoyable for me.

1. Meditation

If you’ve never meditated in your life, now is probably the best time to give it a try. With all of the complexities that I’m sure you’re managing, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed right now.

I’m sheltering in place with my husband who’s on calls for the better part of the day. I can easily have 5-6 hours of video calls every day myself, so we are managing work, meals and parenting at the same time, while also spending time with each other and making time for each of us to have some alone time – this is so damn HARD. I can not say this enough. My two year old is either entertaining herself on tablets, trying to jump and flip off of the couch as her form of nerve-wrecking entertainment or learning a lot about PR while she sits on my lap during meetings. Not the developmental plan I envisioned for her. I’m a bonus mom to an 8 year old who went from navigating the highs and lows of distance learning to the realities of no summer camp. Both kids are missing friends, playgrounds and the certainty of knowing what will happen in their worlds from day to day. Working while exhausted, parenting while trying to maintain patience and trying to keep it all together can feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, and frankly, not always feeling great about the job I’m doing at balancing all of these dynamics.

BUT……the self-focused attention, centering thoughts and deep breathing that come along with regular meditation has been proven to reduce stress levels, and has certainly helped me. When I’m about to lose my sh%t, it’s usually because I haven’t meditated in a few days. It doesn’t make life easier, but it makes it much more tolerable.

Headspace and UCLA Meditation are my favorite apps.

2. Get outside and move… DAILY

Similar to meditation, getting fresh air and moving is the best self-care. As you know, sheltering in place doesn’t mean staying in the house and moving can mean walking, running, biking or even skipping down the block if you want to – why not? There are crazier things happening in the world. The sheer act of choosing to do something for yourself and getting fresh air can reduce stress and anxiety, increase physical health and creativity. We need all the help we can get right now.

3. Create moments to look forward to

Every single day is starting to bleed into each other. When I’ve ask someone what day it is (because I forget a lot), each person hesitates a bit. Sunday feels like Wednesday, Friday might as well be Monday and the individual days can feel like more of the same.

Why not make your own plans? Miss your favorite restaurant? Make it a special Friday night and order your favorite meal. Do you go to HH every Thursday with the girls? Plan it virtually. Prep your favorite cocktails and have a Zoom HH with the same crew.

I miss brunch. The last thing I did outdoors before social distancing was a thing was brunch with one of my besties. Ever since then, that’s all I could think about doing post-COVID-19. I wanted to bring back the Sunday fun, so I got set on the idea to have a brunch party at home. Last Sunday, my husband and I ordered brunch from a spot that specializes in boozy brunch day parties (something that I haven’t done in years, but I was set on a party!). We picked up the brunch party package with a ton of brunch items that would normally be splattered across a packed table. We also added on cocktails to go along with the order…and turned this meal into a full-on day party at home! (well as much as you can have with kids at home). Between the brunch food (that I didn’t have to cook), drinks and playing trap DJ, Sunday felt like a good ‘ol weekend party. I can’t wait for the next one.

4. Wear something that makes you feel like your best self

I know we are all wearing the hell out of our jogging pants, leggings and t-shirts. And I’m not one to tell anybody to stop. Cause I’m not. I may try on jeans to make sure they fit every now and then, but where am I going? I’ll save that for when I can pair them with heels and we are really out and about again.

But, try to pick one or two things to do or wear that makes you feel like you are THAT chic. Could be a headband, painted nails or blush. For me, if I can’t do anything else, I’m putting on a pair of hoops. That means the day has started and I’m ready for anything that comes my way. If I’m feeling really fancy, I may throw on a red lip and shock everyone on my video calls (shining at home). It makes me feel “put-together” and I find myself sitting up straighter and feeling more confident than on other days.

5. Set a goal for each day

There’s something to be said for setting your intentions for each day, and this also helps to stop each day from running right into the next. What do you want to accomplish today? It could be to make progress on a work project, start a new book, call someone you have been meaning to connect with for awhile or try a new recipe. The goal doesn’t have to be lofty, and in fact right now, I don’t think it’s the time to put added pressure on yourself if you’re not up to it. But setting a plan for the day and having small, attainable wins for yourself can help you have a sense of moving forward when the world seems to be standing still.

6. Give yourself a break

Look, there have been a few days where I don’t want to do any of these methods to shelter in place with grace. And that’s okay. We’ve had series of rainy days and on the last one, I woke up just OVER IT. I didn’t want to put on hoops, think about a meeting I needed to attend or meal I needed to cook. I stayed in bed tucked in with a good book, grapes and watching The Real on my DVR. Thassit. No matter what your stay at home situation may look like, these are very challenging times for each and every one of us. And feeling emotional, exhausted or overwhelmed is going to happen. It’s likely unavoidable. If a break is needed, take it and hopefully that will be the refreshing pause to help give you energy to get back into the game.

Phase one reopenings or not, we have no clue of the timeline, but what we know is that one day, this pandemic WILL be over. And who we are at the end of this road will be determined by how we take care of ourselves while in the storm.

What things have you done to shelter in place with grace?