Self-healing and lessons from black women: what I learned through Girl Trek’s Black History Bootcamp

Last week I finished Girl Trek’s Black History Bootcamp, a 21 day walking meditation and movement to get women to be more active, while sparking conversation and inspiration through the stories of some of the most influential black women in our history. 

More than 100,000 black women and allies signed up for this daily journey, and I JUST LOVED this powerful and sometimes emotional experience. It felt like the self-healing and inspiration that I didn’t know I needed, that maybe we all need while we are managing our lives through very different lenses this year. I talked about it with all of my friends, and encouraged them to join me on this trek (I even recruited a few!). Each day I felt motivated, energized and connected to the conversations in this unified effort to learn about the past as a way to help guide our future steps. With all that’s going on in the world, it couldn’t have been a better timed experience. 

The women highlighted in the Bootcamp ranged from the well-known, such as Zora Neale Hurston and Eartha Kitt, to lesser known figures like Angela X, one of the first enslaved African women to make it to America at the beginning of slavery, or Baby Ester, the original Betty Boop. Through all of their stories, there were common themes around the importance of self-care and self-preservation, the idea of balancing the important work toward racial progress with maintaining your own peace, lifting each other up, being bold and taking risks. Each day of recorded chats, playlists and suggested further reading was enriching to my soul, and as I reflect on my top lessons and memorable moments from the conversations, these women and their life lessons come to mind.

Audre Lorde – the original advocate for self-care

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

Audre Lorde was bold in talking about self-care as necessary for our survival, and that even the idea of our survival is political, as it was never meant for us at all. The conversation about Audre Lorde’s life and being radical in pursuing our own self-care really resonated with me as it’s an area where I used to struggle and still need reminders to carry out occasionally. Putting the needs of others before my own was a role I took on and wore it like it was a badge of honor. And I wore myself out physically and emotionally. Sometimes self-care can feel like it’s a nice to have, but it was empowering to engage with the thought that it is a basic necessity in life, and it’s the very thing that will propel you forward to be your best self; to be sturdy enough to thrive against adversity; and to be whole for others, but most importantly, to be whole for yourself. It is hard and sometimes uncomfortable work to create a space for radical, unapologetic self-care, but the call to action was loud and clear that it is a must do to maintain health and sanity. 

Octavia Butler – forget inspiration, habit is more dependable.

I posted a quote this week by Octavia Butler that stopped me dead in my tracks.

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not. Habit will help you finish and polish your stories. Inspiration won’t. Habit is persistence in practice.”

I can’t count the number of times that have I waited to do something until I was inspired, or until I felt like it. I love to make a to-do list every single day, and I can recognize the difference between what gets easily crossed off the list, and what may not. And it all has to do with how I feel. But the things left undone are usually the tasks that will add the most to my happiness and quality of life. I’ll attend every meeting that’s in my planner, and I’ll wash all of the clothes in the hamper, but did I make time for that morning run consistently? Which would make me feel more accomplished at the end of the week? Which has a greater impact on my health and spirit? Hmmmm…this quote was a kick in the pants for me, and made me think about getting past the emotion of the process and just get it into habit of getting “it” done, whatever my “it” goal may be in any week. Relying only on inspiration keeps me farther away from achieving the goals that will make me the happiest, best version of myself.

Mamie Till-Mobley – your story is not finished

We all know Mamie Till-Mobley’s tragic story. Her son, Emmett Till, was murdered at the age of 14 while visiting family in Mississippi. A white woman lied and said Emmett was cat calling/flirting with her, and after telling her husband, he and some other men found and tortured Emmett, and he was found days later in a lake, dead and beaten beyond recognition.

As a mother, I don’t know how you get the strength to continue on. While mourning her son’s death, she “wanted the world to see what they did” to her baby. She called Jet, Ebony and all other black media to shine a light on the brutality of racism. Emmett Till’s death is what many will call was the official start of the civil rights movement. If being an integral part of this powerful movement wasn’t enough while grieving, I didn’t know she continued work as an activist and toured the country with the NAACP. She also went on to get a bachelor’s degree from Chicago Teacher’s College (now Chicago State University), a master’s degree from Loyola University, and she dedicated her life to children living in poverty. Mamie was a teacher for decades and started the Emmett Till Players to work with students outside of the classroom, teaching them to recite the speeches of the most notable civil rights leaders.

All of this was AFTER her son was murdered. I can’t imagine the pain Mamie Till-Mobley experienced, it’s unthinkable honestly. But she found the strength, resilience and faith to turn her tragedy into her life’s purpose that has improved the world. No matter how unfair and tragic our circumstances may be, there might be a way to say to yourself that this is not going to be the end of my story, and look to God to show you the way forward. You don’t know what you are equipped for or called to lead.

“God told me, “I have taken one from you, but I will give you thousands.”

Eartha Kitt – it’s about falling in love with yourself

I love Eartha Kitt – she exuded confidence, sexuality and boldness at every age that made men blush. She’s famous for many roles she’s played in her career, including Lady Eloise in Boomerang, a character that didn’t seem too far off from her real life, public persona. Seeing her in this light, it was sad to learn how unloved she felt throughout her life. Eartha Kitt’s mother was black and father was white. Her mother didn’t have the full capacity to love her, and because Eartha was mixed race, her mother wrestled with (and perhaps was jealous of) how differently her daughter would be perceived in the world, with more privilege than she experienced. Eartha spent her life not feeling included or accepted by either side of her racial background, and carried that angst and confusion throughout her life.

But even through that deep hurt, she believed that “it’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.”

As she pressed through her own pain and trauma, she didn’t lose sight of her value and that idea that the deepest relationship you need to nourish and support the most of the one you have with yourself.

Zora Neale Hurston – a legacy to be lifted up for generations

“Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.”

Zora Neale Hurston is best known as one of the most notable authors of all-time, and a central creative of the Harlem Renaissance. When I think about her life during this era, I envision a group of sophisticated, regal black people constantly gathering together for thought-provoking conversations about how to change the world, while also enjoying a high quality of life of fun and excitement that their talent and stature in the community allowed. I didn’t know about the darker moments in Zora’s life, that while in Harlem, she didn’t always feel like she fit in among her own peers. Being from the south, her peers thought that she dressed kind of “country” while she felt they were too eager to look and dress like white people in order to be accepted. The idea of choosing to not conform to fit in, among other things, caused a great rift with one of her closest friends Langston Hughes. And although she was an acclaimed writer, she never realized the benefits of her talent, and died in the south, alone and with very little money. After she passed, she did not have enough money to afford a headstone, even with the financial help of a few close friends.

While this is tragic, what gives me comfort and warmth is how Alice Walker wasn’t going to let her literary hero’s story end like that. She not only singlehandedly searched and found the unmarked grave of Zora Neale Hurston to make sure her final resting place honored her life in the way it deserved (and paid for a beautiful headstone), she also wrote the article “In search of Zora Neale Hurston” about her own personal journey to become a writer in a space devoid of black writers and how she found inspiration from Zora. This piece sparked a commitment to being loud and proud about the legacy of Zora Neale Hurston, lifting up her works among the greats that were commonly celebrated. Alice Walker’s relentless effort to make sure Zora’s books got the recognition they deserve is largely the reason why There Eyes are Watching God is required reading in many high schools and colleges today. The conversation about Zora’s life as a non-conformist was as bold and inspiring as Alice Walker’s dedication to the promotion of Zora’s legacy, a clear example of the way black women see each other and show up for each other. Alice Walker made it her business to make sure that people knew what the life and legacy of Zora Neale Hurston meant in her life, and as a result her work is now widely celebrated. It’s a testament to what I love about our sister circles. We show up for each other like family and lift each other up in a way that the world may see what we don’t even see in ourselves sometimes.

If want to start the Girl Trek journey, it’s not too late. Catch up here. Listen to the Walk & Talks hosted by co-founders T. Morgan Dixon and Vanessa Garrison on Spotify or Apple podcast.